Living the Fictional Dream

I’ve recently been reading the Green Rider series by Kristen Britain. I purchased the first book, Green Rider, several years ago, and I remember, at the time, being completely hooked by the novel and devouring it. I was seduced by the cover art, which I found particularly good on this novel as cover art is not ususally a compelling motive for me to buy a book, but I loved the story, too.

Karrigan, the main character, comes across one of the king’s messangers in the forrest (a green rider) who is dying, and he makes her swear to deliver the message in his stead. Then adventures ensued in a well-thought-out fantasy universe full of magic, magical creatures, stoic good guys, and creepily evil villains.

It was much later that I discovered there was a sequel to the novel, and longer still before I was able to start reading the sequel (First Rider’s Call). I picked up FRC last month and realized it had been so long since I read the original novel that I should read it again before picking up FRC.

My second read of GR was a lot different than my first. I still really like Karrigan. She’s plucky and fiesty and she takes initiative — some of my favorite traits in a heroine. I also still liked the story.

However, I have gotten pickier over the years about the types of writing I enjoy. Little foiables and quirks in the writing do a lot more to throw me out of the story than they used to. It can be a little annoying, actually, because I remember really enjoying GR the first time around, and this time… well, if I hadn’t already purchased the sequel, I don’t think I would have finished it.

One of Britain’s writing quirks that bugs me is a tendency to over narrate. We’ll be going along through Karrigan’s point of view, and then suddenly she will start thinking of something totally random. Like she’s walking to the palace to see the thing and then her mind wanders off for half a page about a garden or some other big of scenery. Or, sometimes, it’s acutally important information, like how the government works or why the riders came into existance, but it’s still off topic from what the character was doing when they randomly started thinking about this. The information doesn’t flow with the pace of the narrative. It feels like the author wanted to get this information out there for the reader, so she shoe-horned it in.

I know I’ve been guilty of that in my own writing from time to time. When you know your world so intimately, you want the reader to know it that way, as well. You get carried away with the behind-the-scenes workings and want to get everything in there that you’ve put thought into during the world creation.

Part of being a good writer, I think, is realizing when you’ve gone too far and edit yourself down. The workings of the government are only important if they impact the plot. Why tell us about a budget meeting of the council if it has no bearing on the bad guy or the war at hand? It might be interesting (might), but it doesn’t move the plot along.

And, if the information is necessary to the plot, you still have to find the right time to bring it in. Narration is good, but maybe it would be better to just talk about it instead of having the POV character think about it. It can feel odd for a character to randomly start thinking about a bit of information, but a skilled writer can insert a bit of narration into the mix without the cumbersome “she thought,” etc., and keep the flow moving. Or, if the character has to actually think about it, then make her have to act on it in some way, as well.

If you enjoy fantasy, I would still recommend the Green Rider series. It’s not bad, and parts of it are quite good. But it wouldn’t be at the very top of my recommendation list.