Living the Fictional Dream

I’ve mentioned before how my writing output has severly diminished since my little girl was born last July. I don’t get down on myself about it because it’s really only to be expected. Juggling a newborn and a full-time job is CRAZY! I’m finding it difficult enough to carve two nights of the month out to attend writing group functions, much less write on my own. (Not that I’m complaining… Summerlyn is the light of my life and what she needs comes first.)

What I’m finding interesting is that, as if to compensate for this lack of writing time, my subconscious keeps hammering away at little plot bunnies. I had one pop into my head a month or two ago for a horror story (horror like scary; not horror like blood and guts gruesome). The idea started as just a single line and an image in my head. Previously, that would have been enough for me to start writing, but now I just don’t have the time to do it.

So, as if in response to this lack, my subconscious keeps turning the idea over and over, and every time it comes to my mind again, it’s a little more formed. Now I actually have two characters, a partial plot, and the ending of the story in mind (it will probably be flash or a very short story). I can actually see this story fairly vividly in my mind. Whenever I do have time to sit down and write (hopefully, during one of the November NaNo write-ins my writing group will host), the first draft of this story should come out pretty quickly!

What this has taught me is that I will always be a writer. I knew that before, but I’d never really tested it. There’s never been a time like this in my life before when I wanted to write but actually couldn’t do it for weeks and months at a time. Previously, if I wanted to write, I either sat down and did it right then or maybe only had to wait a day or two to find some time. If I wasn’t writing before, it was because I had no ideas, not because I had them but didn’t have the time.

This proves that I will always create stories, whether I get the chance to write them down or not. It’s part of my make-up… pretty much part of my very DNA. The stories are there — all I have to do is hear them out. And if the muse is strong enough and if I devote them enough thought time (even if I don’t have enough keyboard time), they will still be formed — a little more slowly, but they will eventually be there just the same.

The fact that creating stories is so natural to me that I do it even when I am not able to pursue it, is why I will always pursue this writing thing. I may never have a novel published or be able to give up my day job in favor of staying home to write (I hope that’s not the case, but one has to face up to the possibility), but I will always be a writer at heart.

I think that’s the mark of a true writer — the ones who do it because they love it; the ones who do it because they have to, because the stories will be there either way. If you go into this business to try to find fame or fortune… well, the odds are significantly stacked against you. I can’t imagine sticking with it for those reasons, because there is no guarantee. But sticking with it because the stories have to be told — that’s a writer’s heart!